Tag Archives: matthew

I Don’t Want to Be Absent from His Presence

How does it feel to be absent from the presence of the Lord?

Empty.

That’s probably the best way I could put it. If you can relate to feeling like you’re in a void. Alone. Unloved and desperate – yea, that’s how it can feel too.

I don’t know about you. I don’t know your personal walk with Him. Maybe you know Jesus, maybe you don’t. I just know for me, it feels empty. This is not a teaching. Nor do I intend to sound preachy. I do not desire to tell you what to do, but to help you. Maybe help by stating how I feel.

Have you ever heard that saying -“You may be the only bible some people read.” This is true. As a child of the Living King, He wants me to use my hands and feet. I also believe He wants me to use my mouth too. The telling of my personal experiences can make an impact on you.

I can remember a time when I felt like He wasn’t there. You could call it a “dry season.” Utter silence during prayer. In that silence, I struggled. In that silence, I felt lost. Yet, in that silence, I persisted. I knew He was there, but I desired Him more.

You see, I’ve tasted and seen (Psalm 34:8). I know how good He is, and I’m blessed. Of all these years, how did I survive without Him? Why did I not desire Him then? How come no one ever told me how good He is? I knew of Him but didn’t KNOW Jesus. I’m sold! I’m a firm believer in Hebrews 6:4-6.

Now that I know Jesus, I cannot live without Him. 

This may sound silly, weird, and maybe obsessive to some, but don’t you feel that way about your loved one? Haven’t you said this at least once? About your father, mother, sister, or brother? Maybe even a close friend or lover? 

Imagine you are a merchant who sought beautiful pearls. One day, you found THE one pearl of great price. You’d sell all you had just to have it. This is like the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 13:45-46).

Once you grab a hold of something worth more than life, it’s hard to let go of it. This is Jesus for me. If you know Jesus, what is He to you? If you don’t, would you be willing to?

By A Hair, I Almost Dropped the Ball

Last week, my family and I were talking about someone. Some concerns and frustrations were voiced about this individual’s actions and decision-making. As I began to speak, give my input, and voice my sentiments… I made the mistake and said something that shouldn’t have been said. I was checked in my spirit for it and rightly so. I heard in the spirit, “judge rightly.” I apologized. I almost dropped the ball. Had I not repented, I certainly would have dropped it.

“ 1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.“

Matthew 7:1-5

That night, I had a dream. I was in a park, and I remember seeing cheetahs. I can’t recount how many, but definitely more than one. It was interesting to see them there because they weren’t in their natural habitat. The cheetahs were fairly docile and super friendly. Yet, they were just…there. Although I must admit, I felt a strong connection like one would have with their pet(s).

Quick Facts: Cheetahs are the fastest land animals (up to 70 mph) and allegedly, the original household cat – Cleopatra anyone? They are very swift and agile. Cheetahs have malar marks/stripes that run down their face. These allow them to see during the day when hunting and deflect sunlight. They chirp, purr, and meow but do not roar. Cheetahs are shy, so they avoid direct contact with humans. Their claws are semi-retractable, and sadly, they are endangered. After learning about these things and more, the cheetah became my favorite animal!

Inside the park, I remember standing near a baseball field. My family was there, and I remember my husband wearing a baseball cap. We began to pass the baseball and when it came time for me to catch, I began to fumble the ball. Yet, I was agile and swift enough to grab it before it hit the ground. As I stood up, I noticed I clipped the tip of the blade of grass between my fingers. Truly, by a hair, I almost dropped the ball. Talk about a close call!

The last thing I remember before waking up was gazing at the ball in my hand. After thorough thought and prayer, I KNEW in my spirit that this was about that conversation. That conversation I had with my family. I knew what God was showing me, and it didn’t go unnoticed. It was a reminder to me about the verse above (Matthew 7:1-5).

“29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. …31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:29; 31-32

He was showing me how close I was to dropping the ball. Sometimes people don’t realize that we can easily do this in conversations. In my effort to carefully craft my words, I made a mistake. With a quickness, the Holy Spirit humbled me. I rectified it and asked the Lord for forgiveness. No one is perfect, but imagine. 

Just imagine walking around with guilt for not repenting. It doesn’t feel good to have the heavy weight of guilt. Sleepless nights and nightmares. Mental fatigue from constant thinking. Somber moods and more. I don’t know about you, but that’s punishment enough for me. So, what do we do when we have an issue with or feel offended by another? We go to them.

Sure it’s not easy to say to someone, “You hurt me” or “I don’t like when you do this” or “Hey, your breath stinks.” But wouldn’t it be much better to tell the person than slander and/or gossip about someone? Ephesians 4:29-32 talks about how we should avoid such things. All issues within the body and in general should be addressed peacefully.

Why don’t we do this? Well, I think it’s out of fear. We don’t want to start a controversy or offend someone. With all that said I leave you with this…if you don’t address it, but rather choose to gossip – who is the worst offender?

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. James 4:11

Get Ready, The Train Has Arrived

No…I’m not talking about the “Trump Train.” I’m talking about a different train. A train that’s ready for believers willing to submit to the will of God. Its destination? The field of the lost who want and need to be found. Get ready, the train has arrived.

A few years ago, there was this park I was standing in. I don’t exactly remember why I was standing there. I just knew I was waiting for something. Anyway, I was standing there dressed in scrubs next to a doctor. We were both waiting for what seemed like an eternity and then the wait was finally over. A HUGE and MIGHTY train stopped in front of us.

The train was a brilliant red lined with gold trimming. It was beautiful and otherworldly. I’ve never seen a train like this before. I climbed onto the steep steps and stood within an open space. A few steps ahead was an open book on a podium. There was an angelic-like light shining on this podium. I was so drawn to this light that I paid no attention to my surroundings.

I walked to the open book and saw a pen. Without hesitation, I picked up this pen and wrote 9:19. I wrote this down as if I were logging my arrival time. I guess I knew what I was doing, subconsciously at least. I placed the pen back on the podium and turned to my right to walk to the back of the train. “Wait, this doesn’t look like a train”, I thought. It looked like I was inside a school bus.

A typical school bus with oversized, hard, and thick cushioned brown seats. Cold metal floor and a lot of windows. Surely this train could have looked as appealing inside as the outside. Never mind that, I had to sit down. I saw about 5-6 people sitting and watching as I began to walk. As I made my way to the back, I noticed how messy the back was.

The mess looked like trash, but within was a mix of items. These items were like toys (a dirty bunny specifically) and other things I can’t recollect. Upon closer observation, I discovered that this was the “lost and found” area. I found my seat at the back and faced forward looking to get to my destination. Then I woke up.

If you’ve read my previous posts One Simple Command, A Wheel Within a Wheel: A Reflection of God’s Providence, and Within the Ark: Are These the Days of Noah? – you would know that I am a dreamer. I believe God can and will speak to people through dreams. This dream, I believe is another call for believers to rise up, follow Jesus and become laborers in the field.

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest. – Luke 10:2

I’ve expressed this before; I believe something else is coming. I won’t be quick to call it the “End Time Harvest” nor will I say that this is prophecy. This is plain to see, look around you. Seriously, how much did you put in your tank today?

My family brought food 2 days ago, and we have to buy more again. What about your electric bill? Laid off or fired? None of this is you? You are blessed but let’s not pretend. Things aren’t getting better. A disaster of epic proportions is coming. Unless some great miracle happens (I hope for this) to prevent it, many people will be left without hope.

To rise up, follow Jesus and become laborers in the field – why do I believe this? In the dream I was in scrubs standing next to a doctor. It is plain to me that I was a nurse. What do nurses and doctors do? They help those who are sick and in need of healing. They are also servants who labor. Much like the calling of believers, right?

The wait in my dream felt like eternity. I don’t know how eternity feels, but I think we can get the sense of what that may feel like. For believers, we are waiting for Jesus to come back. My goodness, it certainly feels like an eternity! For me, waiting for this disaster to happen feels like an eternity too. No doubt Noah felt that way when he waited for the rain.

It was a mighty train was a brilliant red color covered with gold trimming. I saw this representing the Trinity.

  • Mighty – Almighty like our Father in heaven.
  • Red – Jesus’s sacrifice, atonement, the blood.
  • Gold – The Holy Spirit.

The train arrived to take us to our destination. I stepped onto the train, walked to the podium blanketed in light and picked up a pen. I wrote 9:19, and this took me 3- 4 years to understand why. After constantly praying about the significance of 9:19, I was led to this scripture: “So Jesus arose and followed him, and so did His disciples” – Matt 9:19. 

In Matthew chapter 9, a ruler came to Jesus worshipping Him and told Jesus about the death of his daughter. He asked Jesus to lay His hand on her so she could live. Without hesitation, Jesus rose to help the man and the disciples followed. As you can see here, Jesus answered the call for someone who was in need of healing. His disciples followed him. We are to do the same now and always be ready when the time comes.

The 5-6 people on the train were more servants and/or laborers. There were so few for it to be such a huge train. This truly correlates with Luke 10:2 and Matthew 9:37 – “…The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few.” Let me not forget to mention the “lost and found” area.

In the “lost and found,” I saw children’s toys like a dirty bunny and other things. When someone is lost, they WANT to be found. Who wants to be without hope and living in despair? All people – men, women, and children alike need help. Some may not agree with this but, everyone needs a Savior. It became clear to me that those on the train were going out to help save the lost hoping that they would be found.

How do we as believers do this? By suiting up and helping those in need while sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether that’s through giving food, resources, shelter or a helping hand. When God is calling, get up and follow Him. Don’t run but jump at that one simple command. Last but not least, suit up because the train has arrived. Are you ready?